Coping With Depression After a Break Up (1)

Break-ups can be devastating, it's a rough transition from sharing every part of your life with someone to living without them. The depression that comes after a break-up can feel so heavy and difficult that no one else can possibly understand what you are going through, but there are ways to cope with this feeling without hitting your head on a pole. 

1. Time Factor.
It's going to take a while probably difficult for you to heal especially if the relationship was a long-term. Just give yourself as much time as you need to heal/recover.

2. Don't beat yourself up
Understand that the emotions you are feeling are normal and embrace them. Your feelings or anger/frustration and sadness are natural and normal.Cry if you need to, scream, feel miserable but just for for a while; It's okay. Eventually, you do need to pick yourself back up and move on. Life will go on, and believe it or not, so will you!

3. Understand what happened in the relationship
In order to move on to creating a wonderful life ahead; be extremely honest with yourself, do not blame your ex it will do you no good. Understand the dynamic you and your ex created together and clearly trace the threads of the events that led to the animosity or the cooling off in the relationship.

4. Understand why you chose your ex
People chose relationships for different reasons, the most popular is love or to be in love. Know why you accepted him/her and check out whether something has changed in your values or theirs or probably you need to upgrade your standards or criteria in choosing your partners.

5. Forgive your partner and forgive yourself
You need to understand that both of you did the best you could but it just didn't work out between you two. Even when you were doing things to hurt each other, it was still the best you could at that time. Forgiveness is a sure way to free yourself up to have a wonderful new life in the future.

6. Break free
The tendency to go back and beg your erstwhile partner to take you back will be so overwhelming, but remmber that it's just not worth it if you do so. They broke up with you for a reason, so you must protect yourself from further hurt by staying away from them and breaking free completely.

7. Don't play the victim
You may feel like but just don't play the part. The sooner you can claim responsibility for your life, the sooner you can change it. Take charge of your day to day behavior and you will go from rut to rocking. Don't forget "Life doesn't happen to you, it happens because of you".

8. Don't Ask
You don't need to know what your ex is up to, don't ask your friends or theirs. It's no longer your business what he/she does, where he/she goes to, who they are with or if they look happy or not? Spend your time building your life and not being curious  about your ex's.

(to be cont'd)